Affordable what?

From a story in the Wall Street Journal: “Carlos Araya used to order lobster, filet mignon and $200 bottles of red wine at the Palm Restaurant in midtown Manhattan. Now, he seats customers at its Tribeca branch. Nowadays, during Mr. Araya's late nights at the Palm, reminders of his old life crop up when former colleagues come in. Some are encouraging and offer hugs. Others sneer, he says. "The way they look at you, you know they're thinking negatively," he says. Some are laid-off like him, and ask if the restaurant is hiring.” Few people realize that the Federal government had a lot to do with the financial collapse on Wall Street. Deregulation? No. That is not the entire story. The real story is that the federal bureaucrats (back in the 90s) thought that affordable housing was the panacea for lots of social ills. It was pushed in such a big way that everybody bought into the myth and soon, like lemmings, even people who should have known better were in favor of putting people who could not afford homes into homes they could not afford. That created a housing bubble of historic proportions which eventually led to abuses on an unprecedented scale. The financial mess was created by no more than five or six people - all of them somewhat delusional - and everyone who just went along. People are afraid to tell their bosses that they are wrong.

Pig

From a Yahoo! News story: “WASHINGTON – No matter what you call it, leading experts say the virus that is scaring the world is pretty much all pig. So while the U.S. government and now the World Health Organization are taking the swine out of "swine flu," the experts who track the genetic heritage of the virus say this: If it is genetically mostly porcine and its parents are pig viruses, it smells like swine flu to them. Six of the eight genetic segments of this virus strain are purely swine flu and the other two segments are bird and human, but have lived in swine for the past decade, says Dr. Raul Rabadan, a professor of computational biology at Columbia University. A preliminary analysis shows that the closest genetic parents are swine flu strains from North America and Eurasia, Rabadan wrote in a scientific posting in a European surveillance network. "Scientifically this is a swine virus," said top virologist Dr. Richard Webby, a researcher at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis. Webby is director of the WHO Collaborating Center for Studies on the Ecology of Influenza Viruses in Lower Animals and Birds. He documented the spread a decade ago of one of the parent viruses of this strain in scientific papers.” I must say that the pig lobby must be pretty powerful if they can get the curly tail to wag the pig. The man at left does not care either way. As for me, I'll call it swine flu as much as I want - it's still a free speech country, no?

John McCain interview

(NOTE: This interview was conducted in February of this year.)

We are happy to report that our shy but intrepid Timid Reporter© located Senator McCain’s entourage in Ohio, where he was able to negotiate a four-minute interview. As always, any similarity to persons actually living or events actually happening is strictly coincidental.

TR: Good afternoon. Are you Senator McCain?
JM: You want me to state my name for the record? Of course I’m Senator McCain. Who did you think I was?
TR: I’m sorry. I was taught to always make sure and verify.
JM: I didn’t mean to snap at you but right now is not a good time to be trying my patience.
TR: I understand. I’m sorry I had to ask that question.
JM: Well, make yourself comfortable in that easy chair by the table and let’s get started – I still have lots to do today.
TR: Yes sir. My first question is about the story in The New York Times….
JM: You know, I had a press conference about that this morning so I’m not going to get into that again. My wife was right there with me, too. Get the real story from my press office. I will say this much: if anything, that dastardly article proves that I’m at least a little bit conservative; otherwise, The New York Times wouldn’t be coming after me.
TR: Yes sir. I noticed from the photos that your wife is taller than you….
JM: No, she’s not – she wears high heels.
TR: I forgot about that. Sorry.
JM: You know, you people from the press always have to find something to pick at. There have been so many profiles done of me since the last campaign and I don’t remember more than two or three that I liked. There’s too much negativity. Let people be who they are and don’t criticize their shoelaces. Look at the real man is what I’m saying.
TR: What about Senator Clinton?
JM: It’s a figure of speech, my friend.
TR: Sorry. If the election were next week, who would you prefer to be running against?
JM: Nobody. No, no, seriously, either one will be fine. Senator Obama is a master of stating the obvious. He can relate the story of the three little pigs and make it sound like grand opera, but the story will be the same – we already know it. As for Senator Clinton, she takes direction from Bill and everybody knows that, too. If Bill were to step out of the picture, she would be a formidable opponent, but that’s between you and me – don’t print it. We certainly don’t want to give them any ideas.
TR: No sir. I won’t print it.
JM: Fine.
TR: Regarding your opinion of the C.I.A. and the torture of detainees…?
JM: I have made it very clear in all my position papers that, in principle, I am against torture. Torture, if it’s to be used at all, should be done as humanely as possible.
TR: I understand that you have personal experience in that regard?
JM: You must have read my book.
TR: Yes sir.
JM: I don’t want to relive painful memories, but that’s a distinction I can draw between myself and my worthy opponents – they were never prisoners of war. They can’t say “been there, done that.” I love America and the American people. I love our Constitution. I love our traditions. We have gotten into a mode of sort of resting on our laurels.
TR: I don’t know what you mean.
JM: Americans have accomplished great things in and for the world. Sometimes we’ve been too nice in our diplomacy - in sharing our know-how, in our foreign aid, etc. We have reason to be proud, yes. However, we need to keep going, and, under my leadership, we will.
TR: You mean, like going to Mars?
JM: I’d rather leave that up to our scientists, but that illustrates my point about sharing. Right around the fifties, we started to develop technologies that changed history forever – nuclear weapons, jets, atomic submarines, stealth bombers, cell phones, computers, the internet, antibiotics, Teflon, hula hoops, you-name-it. What happened to all those inventions? We shared them with other countries and soon, they were manufacturing the same products more cheaply. I’m not saying the global economy is bad, but we need to keep our edge. I have recently heard that the Russians have developed a silent atomic weapon.
TR: A silent bomb? How can that be?
JM: Beats me, but imagine one of those going off next to you. You wouldn’t even know it. It’s like our Stealth bombers – you don’t see them until they’re right on top of you.
TR: You have been criticized for your stand on immigration issues.
JM: I’m glad you brought that up. I think my sponsorship of that legislation cost me dearly and confused a lot of my supporters. That’s what I get for listening to Kennedy.
TR: So, you changed your mind?
JM: No, I did not. I decided to leave that issue alone until after the election.
TR: Oh.
JM: You see, I practice what I would call a humanistic conservatism. I am a Republican first and foremost, absolutely. I believe in limited government and individual initiative and all that. Certainly I do. I also see the needs of other human beings - people in dire straits. We need to strike a balance between our need for security, our commitment to the rule of law, and practical solutions. I don’t want to feel straight-jacketed about this.
TR: I see what you mean…any thoughts on the economy?
JM: I think that’s a moot issue. The economy will right itself by November. In the meantime, my advice to my fellow Americans is to take all their money out of the market and put it in bonds. My wife did.
TR: Thank you sir. You have been very gracious.
JM: Thank you for keeping this short.

Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin, as far as I know, is not a violinist. It doesn't matter. She is a perfect example of the magic of coincidence - the chance encounter of two or more events, seemingly beyond your control. I say seemingly because one can never be absolutely certain - beyond a reasonable doubt - that invisible agents do not have some say as to what actually meets at a particular point and what doesn't. Many people believe in guardian angels - I know I do. In any case, Governor Palin was in the right place at the right time. With only minimal experience in government, she now occupies an extremely important place at the highest level of politics - raised up from almost nowhere. Thanks to that, she might one day be President of the U.S. Imagine how Hillary must feel.

Democratic Convention

Well, the convention is in full swing - I'm sure you're keeping up with it. All the speeches sound like they were made in heaven. I played for a fancy dinner of a group of lawyers one time - a string quartet it was. Everyone looked great in their suits and power ties and lavish dresses. The speeches came before we played so we heard them all. We didn't mind, we were getting paid by the hour. All the things said sounded so high minded and idealistic I was mesmerized. Then I remembered they were just words. The distance between words and deeds is great - very great. I wonder if politicians believe anything they say - maybe they just like the limelight. Who really knows?